Monday, May 19, 2008

Stop this train

I moved out of my house yesterday.
 
I forgot to leave my keys and pay the last bill... I must be in denial. I think somewhere deep down my brain keeps telling itself that this is just summer break, that Baylor classes will start again, that nothing has changed. Never mind that fact that all of my belongings are currently in my parents' garage or that I have a diploma with my name on it or that none of my roommates, except Lauren, even live in Waco anymore.
 
It goes in cycles. Once I have convinced myself that I really have moved, that I really did graduate, that I really am going to Lubbock by myself, I find myself bitter and already weary about the amount of work that I am going to have to do to get settled again. Beyond the physical exhaustion of moving, I am emotionally drained. Then I begin to wonder why I thought that leaving all of my friends behind to go to West Texas for three years was a good idea. And then the denial begins again.
 
Don't get me wrong, I know I have made the right choice, I just wish it wasn't happening this fast.
 Did I mention I will be farther away from my family than I have ever been? 


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