Week One

... I'm still here. 

I survived my first week of a doctorate program and I am pretty excited. There are over 60 people in my program and there is a good chance that many of them are smarter or harder working than me. There is also a good chance that at least a handful of them are idiots that are going to make me still look really smart. 

We met our cadavers this week and dove right into dissections. My team and I have removed all of the skin and fat from the upper body. Nasty right? Wrong. It was amazing to see what body tissues look like up close and under the skin. The smell is not as bad as I thought it would be either.

As if classes and labs this week were not overwhelming enough, we were also given the opportunity to take a mock version of the Board Certification Exam that we will take at the end of our program. Our instructors apparently felt is was necessary to show us how much we do not know just yet. It was a beating, but I got 58% which I am kinda proud of.

Life in a one bedroom apartment is getting a little bit lonely, but I am very thankful for the new friends that I have made. 

I am now looking forward to a weekend of studying in solitude. God bless grad school.

Life in the South Plains

After almost a week in transition, I finally feel settled. You should have seen the drive out here... I have never felt like I was much of a city girl until I saw what the boonies actually looks like. You can drive for almost an hour and the only sign of civilization is the telephone poles along the side of the road promising that there really are people out there. And when you reach the "city" population of 257, you wonder how in the world people live their whole lives in such small worlds. 

I am extremely pleased to report that Lubbock is the light at the end of that long drive, it is a bit of an oasis in the middle of West Texas. The most restaurants per capita in the US I have been told, which is great news because I love to eat. Everything is very spread out and the city's streets are laid out on a grid, which makes it almost impossible to get lost. 

My parents have both gone back to McKinney and I am living life by myself. It is strange not to have roommates, but my apartment has furniture and things on the walls that make it more home-y. I find myself feeling surprising comfortable in my new surroundings and really enjoying the solitude. I feel like I have accomplished something, although I have yet to really experience anything related to my graduate program. 

Tomorrow I venture into the intimidating world of graduate school. I will be honest, I am terrified that I will be the only one who has no idea what is going on, but rational thinking tells me that everyone else is in the same boat. Right?

Feels like today...

... but I am not actually leaving tomorrow.

Lubbock, TX. Here I come.

  

 

Stop this train

I moved out of my house yesterday.

 

I forgot to leave my keys and pay the last bill... I must be in denial. I think somewhere deep down my brain keeps telling itself that this is just summer break, that Baylor classes will start again, that nothing has changed. Never mind that fact that all of my belongings are currently in my parents' garage or that I have a diploma with my name on it or that none of my roommates, except Lauren, even live in Waco anymore.

 

It goes in cycles. Once I have convinced myself that I really have moved, that I really did graduate, that I really am going to Lubbock by myself, I find myself bitter and already weary about the amount of work that I am going to have to do to get settled again. Beyond the physical exhaustion of moving, I am emotionally drained. Then I begin to wonder why I thought that leaving all of my friends behind to go to West Texas for three years was a good idea. And then the denial begins again.

 

Don't get me wrong, I know I have made the right choice, I just wish it wasn't happening this fast.

 Did I mention I will be farther away from my family than I have ever been? 

It's really over...

I am graduating from college in 1.5 days. 

My Baylor career is not just coming to an end, it is over; never again will I walk the campus as a student. I can never enjoy my bearbucks account to get my daily starbucks fix. They are going to shut down my email address. "So long" to Greek life and intramurals,  I have to join the alumni association now.  It is kinda depressing, really.  I am leaving my home of the passed four years, my friends who have become family, my favorite local restaurants, and my wonderful church, yet in my wake is a smattering of memories that I will carry with me for a lifetime. 

Four years went so much faster than I thought it would, and in many was still feel like I am 17 getting ready to leave for my freshman year of college. One look in the mirror reminds me that I am not, thank God. In other ways, I feel much older than my 22 years; strong, independent and ready to take on moving to a new city by myself. Truth be told, I am terrified of being an adult and all that it entails and wish that I felt much more prepared than I actually do to conquer life after college. Life outside "the bubble."

I am moving to Lubbock in 7 days to start earning my doctorate in Physical Therapy. I am very excited about the opportunity to take a step closer to what I want to do with my life, but I would be lying if I said that I was not apprehensive about the changes that it will bring. I take joy in knowing that this is where I am supposed to be, and look forward to what is in store, but there are still moments where I think I must be crazy. I know a grand total of 3 people in Lubbock and I have only been there once. 

I suppose this is the part where I have to grow up.